Small and Simple Means

I love being able to teach, whether it's Relief Society or Singing Time for Primary. I love being able to ponder the lesson. I have found enlightenment come at different times, but as long as I am thinking about the subject, inspiration follows. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but I kept thinking about things coming "by small and simple means" and I think it applies to metaphors used in lessons, or how to create a visual aid for singing time. I had a primary president always say when we presented an idea that we were inspired. I had never thought about that before, but now it hardly leaves my mind when I try to gather ideas. They are put together so well because I was inspired.
The latest inspiration was my fireworks. Each toilet paper roll was going to be a firework, but I didn't know how to make the firework "pop" and fun for the kids. I don't know how the answer came, but it made perfect sense to me. I drew a circle from construction paper, cut wedges around, and poked a hole in the middle with pipe cleaners. I folded the paper up to fit into the roll and stuck a paper with the song into the tube. Now when the kids get up to choose a song, they pull the fuse (pipecleaner) and the song "pops" out. I know it's very simple and not a big deal, but I did feel inspired, and I'm so excited to share that with the primary kids.

Come unto Christ . . . But How?

I am so grateful that God is still trying to get through to me! Lately, I have been pounded (at least four times in the last two weeks from different sources) with the scripture found in Matthew 11:28-30 that begins "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. . . . " I have been feeling weary, so this is a great way to get my attention.

During a Sunday School lesson on Alma 13, a few connections became apparent, with the help of the teacher, Jeff Larsen, that I hadn't yet opened my eyes to. I don't want to spoil things for you, or steer you clear of a better revelation by focusing on the glimpse I had, so I'll let's say that the passages in Matthew, and Alma 13:2, 6, 10, 13, and 1 Nephi 15:14-15, and 3 Nephi 12:2, 19-20, and Mosiah 4:2-3, 11 are all marked and linked in my scriptures now.

3 Nephi 12:23-24 includes one illustration of how many fathoms deep are the requisite "depths of humility." The Lord directs us to come unto Him via reconciliation with somoeone who has bad feelings toward you (even if you don't have bad feelings toward them). Ouch!

Back to Matthew. How do we come unto Christ and receive His rest? He says "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me." Learn what? "I am meek and lowly in heart.

We find rest unto our souls when we humble ourselves in the depths of humility . . . we discover down in those depths that the weight of the world is not upon us, it is on Christ. Our pride sometimes fools us into thinking that we can do this or that, solve this or that problem, or help this or that person, and we forget about Christ. We come to Him when we realize that we are nothing without Him and there is nowhere else to go and no-one else to go to. I believe His yoke is the type that can be strapped on us only when we are lying spread-eagle face down

It is both exciting and scary to contemplate the great distance between where I am now and where I need to be. Consider what you are really asking for when you pray for humility! I think I'll pray for courage first . . . that seems much more manageable at the moment.

Motherhood: Some Uplifting Words

Daughters of God, given by Elder M. Russell Ballard, really stood out to me in April 2008 General Conference. I thought it was so great, I wanted to share some highlights from it. Elder Ballard is always one of my favorites; I appreciate his candidness.

"While women live in homes under many different circumstances—married, single, widowed, or divorced, some with children and some without—all are beloved of God, and He has a plan for His righteous daughters to receive the highest blessings of eternity."

"... I surely know that there is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood."

"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family."

"I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being."

"We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. Through my own four-generation experience in our family, and through discussions with mothers of young children throughout the Church, I know something of a mother’s emotions that accompany her commitment to be at home with young children. There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives."

"We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve. So today, let me ask and briefly answer four questions. While my answers may seem extremely simple, if the simple things are being tended to, a mother’s life can be most rewarding."

QUESTION 1: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?

• First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction. Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”(Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
• Second, don’t over schedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
• Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.
• Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”

QUESTION 2: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?

• First, show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.
• Second, have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.
• Third, give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does.
• Fourth, come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
  This is a summary of the talk. All "bold" have been added by me, as well as the bullets.

To read the talk in its entirety, follow this link: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-851-37,00.html

I hope these words can offer you comfort and ideas for improving your happiness in your mothering. I have long recognized that one of the biggest challenges of life is to be content with where you are. "The grass is always greener on the other side." When my first child (now 3) was a baby, I would always think things like, "once he is sleeping through the night, things will be good" or "once he is crawling, we will all be much happier" (he was an active baby) and "once he is walking, it will be much easier." While all of those things were true, I was looking to the future too much and therefore missing the present. Each stage of your child's life has its perks and its difficulties. Some stages are easier than others in general, but none is without its challenges. Once I learned to truly be happy with where Brayden was, I was much happier.

There are always things to get done. You will always have projects and chores waiting for you. There are countless jobs that are never truly done. Remember that while cleanliness is a good thing, your children will remember and care more about the memories made than how clean your house was. Yes, you want it sanitary, but sometimes things can wait. Enjoy your children and enjoy your position as a mother of your sweet little ones.

Motherhood is hard. Through these simple words of counsel as shared by Elder Ballard, you can enjoy your time with your children and get the most out of these years. Take care of yourself. Take care of your family. Enjoy each moment. Focus on the things that can't afford to be put off.

Title of Liberty

I know it's a little late, but I have been thinking about our Independence Day. I have been reading in Alma about Moroni's title of liberty, "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children" (Alma 46:12) I have been thinking that not much has changed with this country. It is still a "land of promise; yea, even a land which I have prepared for you; yea, a land which is choice above all other lands" (1 Nephi 2:20). I've thought about that. We are blessed when we are righteous especially in this country. I'm so grateful for the balance that exists in our government to not allow one person to dominate the ruling of the country. I am so grateful for our liberty that exists today. I love how the title of liberty mentions everything of importance starting with God. It evokes a feeling of satisfaction and appreciation to know that today people defend those things for us. I'm so grateful that I am able to live in America. I'm grateful for the courageous people who defend our liberty throughout the existence of the country. I am grateful that there are many righteous people that keep the liberty of our country as a high value.

Prove Me Now Herewith

We had a cool experience today. If the title or picture of the post haven't given it away yet, it has to do with the blessings that come from paying tithing. First, a little background so you know where we're coming from. As most of you know, both Melanie and I have not had a job since we left DC back in the beginning of May, so we have been living off savings. After paying for our last-minute, before-the-baby-comes-and-law-school-starts sightseeing trips and the move to WV, let's just say the funds had begun to dry up. Between all the moving around we weren't sure which bishop should have received that last tithing check.

In the meantime, I'm in the middle of the whole financial aid application process. The loans won't be arriving until school starts, so that gave us about 2 months to use the remaining savings. There was no way those funds could have lasted until August. Back in Utah, our old 98 Camry had been on the market since we moved and the last time we tried to sell a car, it had taken months. We were holding our breath that it would sell to get us through until the student loans arrived.

This past Sunday, we had our records transferred to the right ward and we gave the Bishop our tithing check. We were also fasting and praying for some financial help that day. Today, I got a phone call from my dad with some GOOD NEWS. The Camry sold! Our prayers were answered, and surprise surprise, the Lord kept His promise:

"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of Hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
-Malachi 3:10-

The story doesn't end there. Not only did the car sell, it sold for almost $1,000 more than what we had paid for it originally! (I hope they don't read this :) It is just an awesome witness for us that there really isn't room enough to receive the blessings the Lord gives to those who pay their tithing. Of the many principles of the gospel, I think tithing is one of the few that you can see the fruits of obedience so quickly and tangibly. I hate hearing people say something like, "I can't afford to pay tithing." Really people, you can't afford to NOT pay your tithing. We aren't capable of being 100% obedient to ALL of the commandments ALL the time, but we are capable of paying a full tithe 100% of the time. We're so thankful to have had our testimonies of tithing reaffirmed by this experience!

Lehi's Dream

On Sunday we had this really great Relief Society lesson about being one among the crowd. Our teacher also incorporated this great talk from Elder Boyd K. Packer entitled Lehi's Dream and You. The talk tells about how most of the people in the great and spacious building got there after they partook of the fruit - meaning that they were members of the church who had fallen away. It also reminded me of the parable of the Ten Virgins. The five that fell away were supposed to be at the wedding, they were members who were not prepared. It made me think a lot about where I am and what I need to be doing to make sure I am ready. In Boyd K. Packer's talk he had a really interesting quote that really made me think.

"Largely because of television, instead of looking over into that spacious building, we are, in effect, living inside of it. That is your fate in this generation. You are living in that great and spacious building."

The teacher told an example of how the sitcom Sex and the City made women feel old, poor, unattractive, etc. Just like the people in the great and spacious building were mocking those who had taken the fruit, we can also be mocked by what we are watching on television. Lately I have been watching way too much TV - mainly because there isn't much else to do until we move into our new apartment in August. But I have resolved to not watch as much. I have plenty of great books (boxed up in a storage unit) that are just waiting to be read. When I was living at home we couldn't watch TV during the week and to tell you the truth I never missed it. I found plenty of other things to occupy my time. I think the lesson on Sunday just really helped me see where I am at right now. It is hard where we are so unsettled right now, but I can do a lot better. It was a good reminder.